Wishes for my kids….my Star Children…

What do you wish for your children?  So many things…love, health, joy, to pursue something that lights a flame in their hearts…..those things, yes, …. but I want to wish for them an obsessed curiosity, a desire to discover, that comes only from reality…not from artifice, the whitewash on the sepulchre we call curriculum….

For now, I’m going to lay down organization learning for a while….I want to wish for their organic, minds of light for a time…

I wish first for them …. wonder.   Wonder is amazement at the way in which nature works, at the way your little dog looks up at you with obvious love…what is she thinking…when I watch her closely I see I think a mind…maybe not like mine, but one that knows, a heart that loves… and I am caught up in wonder at the miracle of this little animal…I study her movements, her expressions, her eyes, her obvious play, her own curiosity at the little bug she chases, but does not harm, and I form questions…remember the “Golden Thread”?  I wish for my children the wonder of the Milky Way….to have that first deep gut-thrill as they see it reaching across the sky like a great shimmering celestial ribbon…ethereal, eternal….I want them to wonder… at the energy that drives our bodies and realize it is the same energy that drives the stars….formed differently but the same….I want them to wonder at their human bodies…. that they can understand the miracle of the kidney…how it recognizes blood chemical levels so they can be adjusted so …we…can…live. I want them to wonder at sodium potassium channels so they understand the miracle of life…. I’ve never seen anyone wonder at a worksheet, or at a powerpoint….but I have shown kids from the dismal city the brilliance that is the Milky Way…I’ve watched the wonder that is so very close to fear as they see the night sky as it really is for the first time…I’ve watched their faces as they hear the voice of wildness itself in the howl of a wolf…. I’ve never seen the wonder of a worksheet… I’ve never seen the wonder of yet more notes on a PowerPoint presentation…wonder gutted…. wonder mortally wounded…. why would you wonder when you havent see the miracle..

I wish for them curiosity…. the curiosity I felt as a boy running through the Piney Woods of East Texas….the absolute outrageous curiosity I felt when I saw the green light in the darkness….first so dim it can’t be there… but it was….Foxfire….then in the light just fungi…How, with a capital W…rotting wood….for a time I learned everything there was to learn about bioluminescence….How?  How does it work…. Why when I lay on my back as a boy looking up at the Milky Way did I not fall out into the fearsome cold of space…out There, with a capital “T”.   Why do we not fall into the depths of space for when we are out “There” nothing is between us and the edge of the universe…but nothing…What saves us from a nightmarish fate…falling into space… a force not truly understood…  Gravity….gravity-does anyone really know what it is?….  What, with a capital W, dragged me underwater 50 yards or more when I was eighteen and immortal…with a fishing stringer attached to a metal chain around my waist….I received my baptism of mortality that day…when my feet could not touch bottom and “What” was out “There”….after terror came curiosity…today I am obsessed by sharks…creatures of terrible wonder…deserving of curiosity…the knowledge of ….”what”….of “out there unseen” came and changed to obsession that has taken me to places I would never have gone.

Obsession…..I wish for my children obsession….the obsession to answer my fear so I swam out beyond the third bar where I lay back supported by the green waters of the Gulf of Mexico….the same waters that offered life to “my” personal shark….perhaps offering my fear to the ocean….within a week I knew the shark species of the entire Gulf of Mexico…but more…were there Great White Sharks….can a shark actually be named “Bull”….when I saw the first one that I caught….the first Bull Shark….I left that beautiful animal in its home….it was a living, breathing miracle….when I saw it, I wanted to know, but also to give the opportunity to live back to it….so I could “know” without guilt….Black tips, Nurse, Hammerhead, Great Hammerhead, Sand….Obsession to this day….now I have been blessed to touch the skin of a Great White….to feel the roughness, but also the life…obsession…brought me to the Pacific to find them…

I wish for my children understanding then desire…..to find that the paint which covers our walls can be measured with the wonderful work of lines, angles, and formulas…to understand what math is for….to understand what they do…mathmaticians and why they do it… I became a boy who understood that the flight of a baseball can be described, even predicted….to understand that rowboats respond to the math of balance…fulcrums, weight, balance beams, centerlines …..that a boat is a gymnast wrestling with the physics of equivalent gravitational attraction that must be Balanced, with a capital “B”…

I wish for them freedom from the artifice of learning that is curriculum….I wish for them expression of the way their DNA made them…..according to the Plan….according to the information that is their personal DNA….that I believe is a plan….that the same energy that holds together the universe holds together their bodies…that before there was the universe there was nothing….darkness and void…all the energy in the universe was in one point…existing…but not existing….then the universe Was….with a capital “W” …in billionths of a second, no trillionths of a second…the universe “Was”…to know that the universe still “Is”…beyond the Hubble Deep Field…the universe “Is”,   still in its outer reaches, unimaginable reaches of time and space ….where the universe “Is” still being Created….that galaxies, stars and worlds are still being Created…yes with a capital “C”….I am too filled with the wonder that is statistics to think randomness….chance…odds….too great to be possible….

I wish for my children Connection…to realize after the wonder…then the curiosity….then the understanding….the connections….that the reality of fire….oxidation….keeps our bodies warm….without our thought…that we are organized…..so we are connected to the fires of volcanos, the reactors that are stars, the warmth in the body of the kitten held and stroked….that the same energy that drives the Earth through its orbit is the same energy that, in changed form, motivates the skeleton that holds the precious bodies of our children together….

I wish for my children to be amazed….that we are created of light, the elements…..so we really are created of the dust of the Earth, the dust of the Earth that is the periodic table made tangible…real….amazed….that photons of light energize reactions in the leaves of plants….that the living tissue of every plant incorporates light….plants are light made real in form…so then are we light made real in form but in this form….intelligence, thought, soul….”souls of light” we are….and as the plants,  those miraculous creations of light, creations of star shine, works of Krebs and his cycle, birthed of nuclear  fusion give their transformed energy to our bodies….so that we take the nutrients of the soil from them and raw energy from the light ….. so we become creations of the light and of the dust of the Earth….

intelligence and thought made of dust and light…

Finally, I wish them to return to wonder…..that in the ferocity of the instant of creation we were formed billions of years ago, we were already there….planned….as we could not be here without…..the moment….the chaos having been made into order…. that we have labeled the Big Bang…that I label “Let There Be Light”…. 

No, I’ve never seen wonder at a worksheet, or divine revelation of the “Connection” through the questions at the back of the chapter…

I’ve only seen wonder when enough chaos, enough reading, enough absorption of thought communicated down the centuries by dye on paper…and the experience of touch, the experience of taste, of smell, of the fear of falling off the Earth as you look up into the night…the realization….eventually become knowledge…that sticks.

When you are next outside at night, look up, realize that nothing is between us and the most fearsome fall….up….into space….that nothing is between you and eternity…..so gravity is here to hold us to our speck of dust…that we are created from….the Earth….we have faith in what holds us…..but we still wonder….

Oh, I do wish, I do wish that every child had freedom to explore the strange avenues given to their minds when the time is right, not when the bell says it’s time to go to the next class…..wonder, curiosity, obsession, amazement, realization, then real knowledge…..so delicate, so easily crushed, …..  

thirst…I wish for them thirst….thirst for “It”, for knowledge, for what lies ahead over the next hill, around the next bend, and for some I believe, sooner than we imagine, across the reaches of space to the next star…..

I wish for my children made of light and dust….my star children, beings of light….that they journey through the universe with a divine obsession to know…obsession to discover…. and finally obsession to know the source….

I wish again freedom for my star children….freedom from worksheets, from bells and boxes of cinderblocks, from artificially created and carefully designed elements, units and tests…

So they can become true star children, the children of Gods’ moment of creation, ….my children of Gods periodic table, of His dust, of His plan…rather than our organized and artificial plan…

Star children…free to “become”….

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